The Control Freak and Choices
Recently I’ve been dealing with a woman that’s an absolute control freak, and sadly, she spends a great deal of her energy trying to change the behaviour of everyone around her.
I’m reminded of the Serenity Prayer :
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
I wouldn’t have thought drunks would like platitudes , but that just shows you how much I know.
The point I’m rather badly trying to make here is that we always have choices.
Here are some prime examples of making life choices when it comes to things we can and we cannot control:
Scenario #1:
- We cannot control whether our partner spends all night on some moronic “quest”, ever does the dishes, picks up his/her socks, shares the remote, brings us chocolate without being asked, is appropriately worshipful, or ever has a hope in hell of understanding us.
- We can control the frequency, variation, and duration of the LOOK we give them.
Scenario #2:
- We cannot control whether our current bed partner is any good in the sack.
- We can control how much we decide to go ahead tart it up and screw their brains out, just to fuck with them, knowing full well that we might as well enjoy ourselves, and to practice being slutty for our next partner, with whom we will undoubtedly enjoy it more and to give the current partner something to really regret losing when we dump their ass.
Scenario #3:
- We cannot control: the fact that forensic technology is getting so much better these days.
- We can control: Whether or not we have rubber gloves in our bathroom (for touching up those natural highlights [read:grey hairs]), bleach under the sink (for keeping those whites white), a shovel in the shed (for garden days) and lye in the garage (for making soap).
Remember… control what you can. We can never control other people’s behaviour, but we can make them fucking regret it.
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I’ve found that with the right amount of torture and mutilation, you can control almost anyone.
I regret having to admit that I am a control freak and come from a long line of control freaks. The world is better off since I retired. Now my only victim is my dear spouse. It equals out because he is also a control freak. We live in the country and our house is big enough we can go to separate corners when the freakishness gets out of hand.
If we gang up on control freaks doesn’t that make us a little bit of a control freak ourselves? Especially if we incorporate torture and mutilation. It’s the chicken and the egg thing all over again.
Drugs, and a tranquilizer gun usually helps with control freaks, or is that just for the freaks?
Scenario #4 :
You can’t control your teenager’s snotty attitude, your ten year old’s eye rolling or your seven year old’s ability to not hear your voice when you ask her to do something.
You can control what’s for supper. Spinach salad, sauerkraut, pickled fish and overcooked brussel sprouts. Eat up, kiddies! There’s lots more sauerkraut left. I think I will pack it for your school lunch. Remember, I am required legally to provide you with nutritious food!
i just peed my pants a little bit.
i couldn’t CONTROL it.
i was laughing too damn hard.
I now understand why I’ve stayed single for so long… I don’t have to worry about that forensic technology.
You just put an entirely new spin on the serenity prayer for me. Maybe we should add another line-
…and the gumption to carry it out.
or something like that. My prayer life seems so filled with hope all of a sudden. Thank you, Jayne!
What is wrong with being a control freak? Someone has to run the show. It may as well be me.
Haha.. fair point!