Is it the cleavage that makes chicks with superpowers super? Would Wonder Woman have been so wonderful if she hadn’t gone around in a spangled high-hipped, low-cut bathing suit with bondage gear attached?

Bat-girl’s superpower seems to have been that she could ride a motorcycle.

If I had a superpower, I’d never change out of my jammies (that wouldn’t be my POWER, mind you, it would just be my POLICY). I don’t like to get dressed anyway unless pushed into it, but wearing jammies all the time is slightly eccentric. If you’re rich an eccentric, they invite you to parties. If you’re poor and eccentric, they put you on medication. I would think having superpowers, like being stinking rich, would also put you into the “she can do whatever the hell she wants” category.

So it would be jammies, a sleep mask, and my side-kick would be a teddy bear. Okay not really that different from now, except I’d be able to read your mind and shit too.

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12 comments

  1. All I would want is to be able to either leap frog or do cartwheels down the street. Two things that I shall never accomplish but think would be fun to do and look sensational.

  2. I’m all for eternal jammies and teddy bears with or without complimentary super powers.

  3. If I had a super power, I’d be able to turn invisible. I could then do loads of really illegal things such as nick lots of money & goods from banks, supermarkets, large corporations etc, and also be able to sneak into good looking men’s houses and watch them getting undressed and…CENSORED…

    I am sick, aren’t I? I think I need the medication you mentioned…

  4. Cleavage has compelling power…unless man boobs are involved.

  5. My super power would be knowig what people are thinking and being able to teleport. =)

  6. HAHAHAHAHHAHAAA!

    This whole entire post made me laugh. Every word – spectacularly written!

    as for my super power…..i’d be able to make a diet coke can appear whenever, wherever.

    oh. and world peace. I’d be able to make that happen to.

    after my diet coke.

  7. the cleavage thing is a distraction of sorts, temporarily turning dirty, rotten scoundrels into sappy eyed simpletons, while she unleashes her superpowers on them. that’s why.

    as for the jammies and teddy, not bad really. but the reading minds, not so good. too much disappointment when you discover what people are really thinking. might lead to expensive counciling, which if you attend in jammies and teddy in hand, might lead to a stay at the big gray building at the top of the hill, and then what? what good would your powers be then? reading the minds of the sex crazed attendants as they approach your padded room? oh that would be swell.

    just something to think about, that’s all.

  8. Ok, I’ve got the cleavage ( I think ‘ample’ is the word generally used to describe it) so when do my super powers kick in?

    I’m not fussy, any old power would do. Particularly useful would be the power to make children automatically do dishes after dinner. Or make anenglishdad not tut when asking him for money – ‘Yes dear, have as much as you like’. Yes, my superpower would have to be the power of persuasion, if I get a choice.

    Now to get ready…anyone know where I can get some Spandex?

  9. I think you’ve hit on the crux of the issue, Jayne. People who draw female superheroes are often the people who spent their youth doodling (with a PENCIL) instead of going out and meeting girls. So they are exercising their superpower, which is to make every woman weigh 100 pounds (60 of those pounds being above the waist, if you catch my drift), and perfectly willing to leave nothing to the imagination.

  10. If cleavage is the root of super powers, I’d have the strength of a small undernourished toddler.

  11. I think Hugh Hefner has worn jammies all his life…

  12. Want to know my secret? I usually get dressed at the end of the day. Oops I guess it’s not a secret anymore.

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  1. Cartwheels in the Parking Lot | Older Space - [...] comment by a reader of Blogging for Bitter Women  made me remember the day I wanted to do cartwheels …

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