Evidently, there was something in your description that I missed. Because I am now in a *paying* game that is international, has over a million players, I’ve been forced to join a family in (I’m not kidding) Turkey, another family has killed me more than once, and I’m getting messages promising me “all the women and drugs” I want if I quit my Turkish family and join a family in Chicago or “name your weapons” if I join a family in Newfoundland.

I’m a 63 year old Nana who has to write full-time for a living forever.

I have a couple of questions:
*Did I stumble onto the same Mafia game that you’re playing or did I fall into a circle of hell from which there is no redemption?
*Should I quit the Turkish family?
*Will this all go on my permanent record?

Boy 1: What you mean you ain’t gonna mess wit’ Tish? You was all over that *itch, man.

Boy2: Yeah, but she’s *uckin’ crazy. I ain’t dealin’ with that sh*t.

Boy 1: What the f*ck you talkin’ about?

Boy 2: The *itch got like f*cking books all over her room and sh*t. She was all tryin’ to talk about gay sh*t like ‘Harry Potter’.

Boy1: (laughing) oh, damn! That’s f*ckin (inaudible)

So there you have it. Books aren’t just for learning, they are also like kryptonite to stupid people. If I had known that I would have started to wear them around my neck like a cross a long time ago!

From being a child of the ’60s, I also know something else:
People who don’t dream are on drugs.

This is a great exercise, Jayne.
I’m suspicious of … women over 50 who don’t wear makeup. (“Oh, I’ve never worn makeup.” “Yeah, but, uh, you’re not 28 anymore…”)

I’m also suspicious of…people who say they never watch the news.

And, of course, people who say they never “revisit a decision.” (Our President.)

I am so glad I will not be getting the finger of suspicion. I’m an Italian from new York. I SO know what that means.

2) People who don’t read put George Bush in office. Bitter? You betcha.