Eternal Pets

I ran across Eternal Earth Bound Pets and my first reaction was to laugh inappropriately, thinking the site to be a spoof or an anti-religion statement, but I have to admit, the site seems so darned earnest and their offer sincere, it’s impossible to wrap my head around their motives.

They’re basically offering “Rapture Insurance” for your pets. A group of atheists have banded together to say that if you get raptured within the next ten years, they will look after your pets for you (for $110 for the first pet and $15 per additional critter). “We are currently active in 22 states. Our representatives have been screened to ensure that they are atheists, animal lovers, are moral / ethical with no criminal background, have the ability and desire to rescue your pet and the means to retrieve them and ensure their care for your pet’s natural life.”

One friend told me he believes it’s a scam through and through… that these atheists are laughing all the way to the bank, insuring Christians against something that’s never going to happen, effectively paying a “gullible tax” (in the mind of the operators of the site.) But my thought is that if their clients really believe they might get yanked up to heaven at any moment, leaving behind unbelieving neighbours and loved ones, and also beloved pets, then if the offer is sincere, wouldn’t it give them peace of mind?

That being said, I figure most people’s pets will die within the next ten years. (The period from payment that the EEBP will cover.) So that also makes me lean a bit toward the scam/joke end of things.

And yet… I know a few people who do literally believe that the rapture could happen at any moment. I wonder if these are the same people that responded to a poll saying they were certain that  Obama is the anti-Christ. So doesn’t that make this more of a bet than insurance? (Well, I suppose insurance is gambling from a certain perspective.) These atheists obviously do believe that they won’t have to actually do anything for your $110. If they did believe it, they wouldn’t be aetheists. On the other hand, they’re offering peace of mind to people who worry about such things.

I still can’t quite process what I think about it. I suppose it is a scam after all, because if they don’t fulfil their promise, the victims of their deception won’t be around to sue. But if these atheists do lose their bets, they’ll have bigger worries on their hands than what to do with a missing stranger’s cat.



  1. It’s a scam in that they know it’ll never happen. Atheists know there’s no such thing as a Rapture event that will happen (even Christians who have studied the history of the Rapture idea know this), so they’re taking money from gullible people. It’s no different than offering bodyguard service insurance to someone in case of a zombie outbreak.

    But if they turned out to be wrong, I imagine more than a few will say, “Well, we did promise to do that. Grab the cat carrier, we have work to do.” It’s just that they know they aren’t wrong.

  2. The Devil

    Well, techincally, all insurance is a bet. You’re just paying someone to take the risk of the bet in your benefit. I don’t see much of a difference between this and having someone insure you against a potential catastrophic melt down of mortgage backed securities.

    At the end of the day, if you feel there is risk in your life that you wish to eliminate, it is not a scam to find someone who will take that bet.

    Even if they are laughing all the way to the bank. ;)

  3. On the other hand, Devil and your many minions, if we stopped doing business with people who were laughing all th…what you said…we’d do less business. Buying Dollie Parton albums springs to mind (think she ain’t LATWTTB? Think again.)

    Then, there’s Rush Lumbago, whatever his name is, the jiggliest Republican ever. Not only is he LATWTTB-ing–his rabid fans believe he is a political thinker & commentator, as opposed to a not-very-entertaining, non-scenic showman. Move over, P.T. Barnum.

    I used to belong to a cult, membership in which came with the whole magilla: predestinated by a jealous, pissed-off God, the virgin birth, not such a roomy heaven and dangled-out-over-hell like a Weenie and–oh-yeah–the Rapture. Can’t quite get my head back into it, but I’m sure I worried about such things, sitting around under a fat pink cloud, sipping the Kool-Aid.

    The Pet Insurance offer appears to be a legit, needs-driven business venture; if one must be an Athiest to offer the services, I see no difference than a similar requirement to be a trifle holier-than-thou believer required of those being raptured.

    It’s only money and the banks all the way to which they will laugh, are right here on good old Mother Earth. Sounds like a Win/Win.

    [ Follow me on Twitter:

  4. Let me assure you, my offering is not a “scam.” We plainly state our conditions and responsibilites. We make nor imply no other promises, and we do not promote belief in this non-scriptural doctrine.

    We have representatives in the states/regions we offer our services.
    We have the infrastructure to fulfill our contracts and every intent to do so should the rapture happen.

    No, we don’t believe in rapture, God, gods, etc. We state that plainly in our website. No, we never expect to have to fulfill our contracts. But, I am not an absolutist. If there is a 0.00000000001% chance we are wrong, then we stand ready to meet our obligation.

    But there are 40 million plus American Evangelicals who believe in post rapture tribulation. If you have an argument with them, and/or their religious leaders for perpetrating a “scam” on them, then your argument is with them, not with my business or website. I am simply filling a void that many of these Christians have taken advantage of.

    That said: if you appreciate the creativity of the site, whether you agree with it or not, you’ll probably enjoy my book “The Atheist Camel Chronicles: Debate Themes and Arguments for the Non-Believer”. It has been on the top 20 best selling atheist themed books on amazon.comUS since its release in late June.

    Yours in reason,
    creator and co-founder Eternal Earth-Bound Pets, USA
    author The Atheist Camel Chronicles

  5. Tony Jones

    This is why I keep coming back to this site because its the best.

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