Don’t Choke The Baby

Apr 24, 2010

Don’t Choke The Baby

There are some admittedly funny warning signs here in the UK that say things like “Give Way” and “Speed Hump” or even this one, which seems to be a warning against picket fences: railroad-warning(I think it’s actually something to do with railroad crossings, but don’t quote me on that. Yes, I passed my Brit driving test, at which time you have to know these things. Sadly, my brain only has room for so much, so stuff that’s no fun like road signs tends to leak out when I’m not looking.)

elderlyThis one is pretty good too. I’m not sure entirely what we’re being warned against here, but it’s undoubtedly something nefarious. We get warned about slow children, deaf children, bendy roads and sudden dips… deer who like to charge out into the road, sheep who wander about, killer microwaves, dangerous cell phones, where not to go, or where going is permitted, but only if you do it in a certain way. There are lots of things to be concerned about, and apparently lots of people concerned about warning you of them.

Sometimes there is more to worry about in one place than a human being is really capable of worrying about. lane_with_18_signs

In Europe, there are so many languages spoken that warning signs tend not to have any written language on them at all. But then I don’t mind that. Most of these signs above are crystal clear in their meaning right? Right?

Probably the funniest one I’ve seen in a while came on the plastic sheeting around my new laptop:

dont-choke-babyI assume this means “Don’t Choke Your Baby”, but I suppose it could also mean “Don’t put a plastic bag over your head, dumbass” or “Don’t put a plastic bag over someone’s head AND strangle them, because that’s just overkill.”

In the spirit of it all, I made a couple of warning signs of my own… things people should be warned about or cautioned against, but as far as I know, we don’t have international signage for them.

warning-dramaqueenwarning-meanI cheated and put some words on the top one. I’m not entirely certain what the symbol for drama queen should be, but that was my best effort. The second one is meant to be: “Don’t be a jerk.” I’m not sure it translates.

This sign gig is harder than I expected.

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13 Comments

  1. Don’t quit your day job, ND; I’m quite sure you’re not going to make it as a sign designer! :)

    That warning on your laptop is hilarious!

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  2. The picture of the 15 signs for one spot is hilarious.

    My favourite sign has to be the ‘frog crossing’ warning. Always makes me think I might drive round a corner and be confronted by giant frogs hiking across the road on a walking tour of local ponds.

    http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2394/1572231754_6f6b5781fd.jpg

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  3. I can’t count – it’s 18 signs.

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  4. ND

    Hehe Dan… Love that frog sign

    and Talli … Just hurtful :D

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  5. What is the collective noun for a group of signs? Something for the WAG group to think about.

    I like the warning about FORD at the bottom.

    Found On Roadside Dead is it?

    A warning about people who drive FORDs?

    Maybe access only permitted if you drive a FORD?

    Are FORDs and FORD drivers inherently more dangerous?

    What action should you take when you see such a sign?

  6. I think that sign warns about old people! Maybe they are slow in crossing the street? I don’t know but those signs are funny.

  7. My favourite has to be the no motor vehicles one: http://www.caledoniasigns.co.uk/acatalog/57726.jpg

    Low-flying motorbikes!

  8. These signs are funny, as well as your interpretations. David Sedaris writes about signs in Japan in one of his books.

  9. Crikey! Wish I’d seen that laptop sign of yours before I choked the baby.

    That couple, her hands on his waist from behind, are obviously doing the Hokey Pokey!

    You do know, don’t you, that you aren’t a well woman?

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  10. Great warning signs. :) And I just wanted to let you know that I was over here following you now.

  11. hahaha! This is brilliant. Now that sign with about 20 of them in one place. Is that serious? How do they expect drivers to comprehend them all at once? Would that be a driving hazard? Surely it would distract the driver from concentrating on the road!!???

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  12. Yeah, Jessica. I found that picture on a site that was using it to illustrate exactly that point.

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  13. Man, that’s a lot of signs. That one picture with umpteen signs needs another – one that tells the driver not to try to read them all or they’ll drive off the road doing so. One of them looked like, do not drive off a cliff.

    Helen
    Straight From Hel

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