WAG: Herostein
WAG #22: “A Real Hero”. Observe a stranger you think would make a good main character, and describe their physical features as accurately as you can (and without cliche) so we can see them as real individuals and not cardboard cut-outs.
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I decided to go to hotornot.com (one of these public picture rating/dating sites) and pick the first random guy that came up and describe him for this exercise. Sadly, he had a goatee. Honestly my hero can’t have a goatee. Yes, I’m beardist. So sue me. (Six.)
The second guy had bushy eyebrows and hunched over a desk. His black hair was slicked back, and his narrow face was held in an expression that said he was accustomed to rejection. He listed his interests as cell phones, world music, trading stocks. (A quirky sidekick, but no hero. Umm, four.)
Third guy: dark hair and a deep tan and tattoos around both sculpted biceps, one tattoo looked like barbed wire and the other some kind of celtic design. It was hard to make out, because of the dim lighting in the tent. Military then, I think, with all that beige canvas and sand. Even though I have opinions about people who post shirtless photos online, I have to admit he had a nice body: tight and muscular… the sort of thing I pretend I don’t notice, but of course I do.
There was something about his eyes that made him not quite “heroic”. I can’t put my finger on the quality, it was a sadness, but I could so easily imagine him yelling, furious, drinking a little too much, or letting himself slip into a dark corner with the wrong woman. Maybe it was the way he stood with his hands on his hips, his trousers slung a little low on his hips, but just low enough to show a tan line. Too much vanity: as if to say, “I matter more.” Nice to look at, but unsuitable. (Nine.)
Next guy was too ordinary… too nondescript, as though he didnt’ even have an opinion about himself. (Six)
Next guy had a goatee and a pirate earring. (Four.)
Next guy, goatee. Seriously guys. Come on. (Five.)
Next guy wore a black net shirt and leather pants. The attire alone wasn’t what put me off, but the shaved head and crazy expression, as though he were trying to say, “I’m pretending to be scary because I secretly am so ordinary it hurts.” (Six.)
Lip piercing. (Five.)
Six. Four. Three. Six. Seven. Two. (Lip piercing, goatee and crazy eyes.) Four.
So where is my hero?
Guy #3 with the twining tattoos is looking better upon reflection. Maybe I could reform him. Maybe he wanted to work on his temper. Maybe he could grow. I remember his eyes though. They just won’t do. My hero needs the eyes of #11 (or was it 12?) He needs to borrow that nice linen shirt from #4. I liked the way #4 had his hands jammed in his pockets too, and the way he smiled as though whoever took that picture had just said something that struck him funny.
I think I’ll give him the nose of the guy who liked stocks and cell phones. It was flat at the bridge and would give him a necessary touch of imperfection. A little less tan, of course, but I think the tattoos can stay.
Yes, definitely… this guy, this frankenstein of mine… yeah.. him I like. This guy I could fall in love with. Professionally speaking, that is.
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Oh you like em bad and brawny!!!!
An anti-hero so to speak. Of course he’ll need a good woman to show him the way to reach into his inner child!
I love bad boys turned good anti-heroes like that. I want one.
Anyway – what a great exercise to do. I’m tempted to have a look at this site but I’m at work and maybe it’s not such a good idea when the boss is a wandering..!
Take care
x
The “hototnot.com” route was a great idea. It never crossed my mind and I’m glad you took it in the direction you did. Hopping from person to person pointing out why they couldn’t be a hero, then creating one from traits of each.
Unique and entertaining piece.
[ Follow me on Twitter: waltw ]
A pirate earing? Really? Good thing I’m not single. Those pics sound awful.
Sort of a roll-your-own type of hero. I like that.
So, will you think less of me if I tell you I used to have a beard?
~jon
[ Follow me on Twitter: jmstro ]
Loved this! If only that was how dating really worked
[ Follow me on Twitter: hatejobouthere ]
Ok, that sounds seriously interesting. I love it! I’m gonna go try it
Frankenstein sounds like a hottie! Great descriptions and what a fun way to build the physical description of a character!
[ Follow me on Twitter: katiemills18hotmail.com ]
It’s a Build-A-Bear shop for heroes! How funny! What a great take on this WAG idea. Lovely piece.
I like your idea about going to a ‘dating’ site to view pictures of potential characters. I usually say “Okay, Carter Oosterhouse’s chest, David Conrad’s eyes & hair, George Clooney’s chin… There! Seth Montclair!”
[ Follow me on Twitter: dasos1 ]
BTW: I tried to leave a comment for Rachel Wolcott but her blog wouldn’t allow a post. It didn’t give me an error code; it just disappeared. :s Sorry, Rachel!
[ Follow me on Twitter: dasos1 ]
What a brilliant idea, although after that rundown I am glad I’m married, I am sure the cobbled together version would be real superhero material.
[ Follow me on Twitter: MelanieTrev ]
I’m loving this! Sounds like our Senior Prom (with a juvey reformatory in the district) You are too bright for your own good, India.
What to do with those textbooks that insist we marry our fathers/mothers? [Build-a-Bear for heroes! Damn, wish I'd said that.]
[ Follow me on Twitter: girlfrenkate ]
That’s a really great idea for finding a type. I like the way you think.
I also loved this India. And such a great idea to look on the internet. Fantastic.
This is great! I haven’t thought of hotornot for quite some time and this definitely made me giggle upon looking back. It’s interesting to see how people try to portray themselves.
[ Follow me on Twitter: cedickie ]