The Invisible Man
[This is for the Writing Adventure Group topic "Ripples".]
His words were barbed wire, shot out of his mouth at terrifying speed, aimed where I was softest.
I saw his profile on Facebook the other day. I’m not sure why I looked. Perverse curiousity? I don’t love him anymore. I don’t think about him unless something reminds me. But still I looked. I found his dad’s name first, then his brother, then him. Sometimes this google gift I have is a curse. Give me half an hour with a search engine and I can find anyone. So why did I look?
I don’t wish, anymore, that he’ll realise how cruel he was and be sorry. I don’t wish he’ll find someone new and spend just long enough with her to understand what he lost in me. I don’t wish the lies he told his family would explode with humiliating force.
So why did I look?
I extracted the metal over long years, until nothing remained but scars, but still the barbs tug. Sometimes when other people speak, I flinch. It’s his voice I hear in their throats.
—–
Okay, well like most everyone who does a Writing Adventure Group post, I cheated. So sue me. 
I thought it would be interesting to write something about the emotional impact of someone who was long gone, and this is what came out. I only write this bit here at the end so no one feels a need to reply and say “Aww, what a bad person — I’m sorry this happened to you.” Jus’ writin, yanno. I tried writing it in third person, but it didnt’ have the same impact.
Related Posts
-
Writing Adventure Group #33: Rescue Me
Posted on Aug 4, 2010
-
Writing Adventure Group 32: Altered State
Posted on Jul 29, 2010
-
Writing Aventure Group 31: Laughter
Posted on Jul 21, 2010
-
Writing Adventure Group #30
Posted on Jul 14, 2010
Tags
Share This
It’s good!
[ Follow me on Twitter: alexjcavanaugh ]
Hi
Yep, I felt the emotional impact alright! Wow – great stuff – angry, hurt, sad – ripples of a relationship gone awry.
I really enjoyed this!
take care
x
Maybe its because they are rarely used in the Fantasy Genre (which is where 95% of my book reading is) but I love the integration of Facebook and Google into stories. They are such powerful tools for both good and bad, its fun to see them used well.
The story was powerful in few words. Very emotional.
Thanks for sharing
[ Follow me on Twitter: waltw ]
It’s funny what happens when ripples finally catch up with you. Nicely written.
Great opening line. Apt that a metaphor featuring barb wire should hook me so expertly. The piece extends the metaphor well.
[ Follow me on Twitter: danpowfiction ]
I really enjoyed this piece- very convincing and makes me wonder about the whole story. I wish I could do bloghop but I’m hopped out for the moment. Maybe soon!
[ Follow me on Twitter: katiemills18hotmail.com ]
“His words were barbed wire, shot out of his mouth at terrifying speed, aimed where I was softest.”
“Sometimes when other people speak, I flinch. It’s his voice I hear in their throats.”
Loved the first and last lines. Great visual! Speaks so much about the relationship.
India, this is fantastic.
Yes, I did wonder if there was significance in the first person narrative. Glad to hear that it didn’t signify anything in particular beyond the lasting pain others have intentionally or unintentionally inflicted on our personal selves.
I’ve read some fantastic stuff with this WAG prompt. What a perfect choice!
[ Follow me on Twitter: dasos1 ]
The barbed wire metaphor speaks volumes. Simple. Transparent. Specific. I love this.
If this were autobiographical, I could have the Rocco Brothers answer his ad; set him up for a little payback; say the word.
Super writing. btw, I’m stuck.
[ Follow me on Twitter: girlfrenkate ]
Great emotional impact and some very visual writing. I think this prompt has brought the best out of everyone.
[ Follow me on Twitter: MelanieTrev ]