Crimes Against Hairdresserhood
This post is part of the Writing Adventure Group topic: Crimes and Misdemeanours.
My hair is now eight inches longer than it was in the profile pictures I use online, and I recently decided I needed bangs.
“Why didn’t you just go to the hairdresser?” a Certain Highlander asked me while observing the results of my “learned-it-on-YouTube” self-trim. A man in a novel would have known to say how nice it looked, even if it was slightly lop-sided. In my house, the best I could hope for was that no one would notice, especially after the last time I coloured my hair and my son said, “Yeah, it looks kinda weird.”
“I didn’t go to the hairdresser because I can’t stand the look they give me when I go in there.”
“What look?”
He couldn’t possibly understand. He pays £6 for some bloke to mow down what little hair he has left. No conversation. No cup of coffee. Just snip, snip, zip, you’re done.
“When you pay £75 for a cut and colour, they’re pissy about it.” This didn’t compute in his world, where more money should mean better service. But oh, dear god, I can hear it now: What on earth have you been putting on your ends? Nothing?!?! (loud gasps from all corners) And, honey what kind of colour are you using? Obviously the cheap stuff, but how bad is it? You really should leave this to me if you don’t want to look like Marge Simpson.
“Well then why don’t you go somewhere else?” The Highlander persists.
I sigh. “They’re all like that.” I can tell he doesn’t believe me. I’ve been to five different hairdressers in nine years, and mostly it was because I was too embarrassed to go back after some self-inflicted disaster.
I got my revenge though: I told each of them it was the previous pissy professional who’d given me the stripey streaks, the too-thick fringe, or the dull dye job that so offended their standards. They’d purse their lips and say, “Hm.” I knew they didn’t buy it, but at least their rudeness stops short of calling me an outright liar.
“Besides,” I tell him, “I can’t go back until my bangs grow out enough they can’t tell I did them.”
“That’s like saying you have to clean up before the maid comes over.”
Don’t even get me started on that one.
Theme for this post was from WAG #25: “Crimes and Misdemeanours”. We all break rules from time to time (just look at past WAG posts to see evidence of that!) and our characters usually have to do that in order to experience change and growth and to add a little spice and drama to our plots. So this week write about someone (a character or someone you observe) who is breaking a rule. It can be anything from a major crime to a breach of etiquette. It’s up to you! No Rules! Now Write!
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That was fantastic! I soooo relate! I cut all my hair off last fall, then decided (in true Vicki fashion) that I should grow it out again the following day. I probably need to get it reshaped, but I’m THIS close to being able to pull it back which will solve all my problems.
Sigh
I need a personal stylist.
Who makes house calls.
Oh I so am with you here! I hate, hate, hate going to the hairdressers cuz you just KNOW they will look at your hair and be snippy about your home colouring and lack of hair styling in the past year or three! Then you show them a pic of what you want done and you just ignore their loud guffaws and arched eyebrows as they say “huney – that ain’t gonna work on your type of hair”.
As for dentists..:-)
Take care
x
Makes me glad that I just go to the local place. Just snip, snip, zip and I’m done
Well told, thanks for sharing
[ Follow me on Twitter: waltw ]
Loved this – especially since it’s so true everywhere.
That’s too funny, especially your description of the guy’s haircut.
I can relate. I grew my bangs out because I was tired of being told off for trimming them myself. Hey, if I want to look like a complete dork, well, that’s my choice. But after 6 years, I finally decided I needed bangs again. And yes, I did them myself. I haven’t been to the hairdresser yet because I know what’s going to happen. Thanks for showing me I’m not alone.
[ Follow me on Twitter: stinall ]
I totally applaud you for cutting your own bangs. I try and cannot get them straight or out of my eyes.
And I so agree with you about hairdressers. They do it so you’ll come back to them – not go to anyone else.
Straight From Hel
[ Follow me on Twitter: MermaidHel ]
So funny and so true too!!! I can’t touch my own bangs though. You are a very brave woman!
You are very brave! I prefer my hair layered, and wouldn’t dare attempt it myself. Thankfully I’ve found a wonderful hairdresser and have been going to her for several years now. I hope I never have to change!
Men love long hair on the women in their lives — but they don’t have to deal with it on a daily basis!
Your blog makes me smile, laugh, and think. Great job, Roland
[ Follow me on Twitter: rxena77yahoo.com ]
@Joanne – Oh, please tell me that wonderful hairdresser lives in Oklahoma City. Please, please, please let it be so.
India, you’re so right. And guys cannot fathom how women’s hairdressers — male and female — treat their clientele and WHYINGOD’SNAMEWETOLERATEIT.
I hate *The Look*, and all the attendant crap, so badly that I’ve colored my own hair for decades and toward the recent end of that period, talked Boy Fren’ into cutting my hair. Hell, I figger, if he can groom a long-haired dog….
[ Follow me on Twitter: girlfrenkate ]
That was really good.
And I’m glad I’m simple when it comes to my hair.
[ Follow me on Twitter: alexjcavanaugh ]
Aargh! So true!
A few years ago having to touch up what I thought had been my most successful hair colour coincided with a house move, so I had to change hairdresser.
‘How long has that colour been in there?’ she said.
I told her.
‘I wouldn’t have put that shade in.’
No, I never went back….
Hahaha!
You do know ‘hairdresserhood’ isn’t a word, right?
And please, put up a pic! We want to see your fringe!
Ref:“I can’t go back until my bangs grow out enough they can’t tell I did them.”
LOL. This is why I’m never faithful to any one hairdresser.
[ Follow me on Twitter: MariaZannini ]
I’m so glad my sister-in-law is a hairdresser. I’m soooooo lucky
[ Follow me on Twitter: jemifraser ]
OMG, so true. Hilarious.
E
[ Follow me on Twitter: eileenandrews ]
this is so so true!!!!!! sigh…
Hahaha I loved this! I feel your agony and love the hilarity of it!
[ Follow me on Twitter: SanguMandanna ]
Funny and so true!!! Exactly why I cut my own hair. I don’t do a good job but at least I didn’t have to pay for it and listen to any comments from the “professionals.”
OMG, so true. Hilarious.
[ Follow me on Twitter: None ]