The Ups
The past two weeks, like most weeks, have been full of ups and downs for me. The downs have included having to make changes I didn’t want to make to Ordinarily Angels (the downside of traditional publishing), pain that has had me have to go back to using VOX again (speakos, here I come), and the general worry everyone experiences when dealing with things they cannot control. Life is full of those things, and I prefer not to dwell on them.
The ups have been even better. I’ve written in the first chapter of Haywire Witch, and by actually sitting down to write, I’ve sorted out some of the problems in my outline that I didn’t know how to cope with and I was just ignoring (that’s what I do). But the happiest thing this week came from something simple: my son’s report card. It’s not what you think. Sure, he got good grades, but that isn’t what made me happy. After roughly sixteen years of education, I’ve come to realise that good grades don’t mean a whole lot. No, what actually made me smile was the “teacher’s comments” section—Each subject has its own page, and teachers leave comments about a student’s strengths and “areas for development” (I guess they don’t like the word “weaknesses”.)
“He is a polite and pleasant pupil…”
“He has an old head on young shoulders. He is a sensible young man with a great attitude…”
“… He always tries his best to produce work of a high standard…”
“He is a thoughtful contributor to class and group discussion…”
“He is always ready and eager to take part and give his best…”
I know, I know. All parents are proud of their kids. But mine is turning sixteen in a couple of weeks, something I didn’t think would happen so soon, and I’m feeling all squooshy and sentimental about him. Some Buddhists believe that we choose our parents—likely with an eye to selecting the people that will teach us whatever it is we need to know to reach the next stage in the evolution of our soul. I’m not sure what I’ve contributed to the evolution of my Bear’s soul, but I know he has definitely contributed to mine.
One time, when he was about five, he said to me, “Mommy, you know the God stuff?” (Keep in mind, I am a Buddhist, and I don’t think he’d ever been in a church before.) Not wanting to appear as though I didn’t, in fact, know about the God stuff, I just repeated his question. “God stuff?” He said, “Yeah, the part of you that is alive before you are born and still exists after you die.” Me: “Uh huh.” He goes on, not even noticing my reaction: “Well, where is it?”
It was sometime around then that I realised I had a person on my hands. It’s only gotten better (and deeper) since then.
So, no, this isn’t going to turn into a mommy-blog. But I do hope you’ll indulge me this one time, as I feel just a little smooshy. The day he turns sixteen, he will legally be allowed to strike out on his own. I’m eager to see what adulthood will bring him, but for the first time in his life, I do find myself wanting things to slow down just a little. Call me greedy, but I just want a little more time with him. Definitely greedy.
Bear 2000:
Bear 2010:
(I never used to post pics of him, but now that he’s 6’1 and weighs 165 lbs, I’m not really worried about some stalker kidnapping him. LOL. I’d be more worried about the stalker, in that case. Besides, Bear would have him pondering the mysteries of life and questioning the meaning of his existence.)
So what makes you feel smooshy inside? And have you had any great ups so far this year?
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You are a very fortunate mom, but then , he is a very fortunate son.
I’d say he made the perfect choice.
Yes, the time goes way too fast. So fast. *sigh* This is a lovely entry, India.
[ Follow me on Twitter: netta50 ]
What a lovely post. You should be very proud, and have every right to sing it out loud.
This post came from the heart. We put into our kids all we know how. We teach them right from wrong, answer their questions, and send them out into the world. How nice you received confirmation that he’s become his own, decent person.
I cannot believe you have an about to be 16 year old son!!! Unbelievable cos you look like his sister! Yes you do!!
He’s adorable and of course you should be most proud of him – he’s perfect!!!!!
Are those your parents? Or your hubby’s? Awwww your boy towers above all!!! Take care
x
This is a sweet post. I’m not a mom, but I’m an aunt to six amazing niephlings between the ages of newborn and 11. When they begin school for the first time, it made me feel all smooshy inside. They grow up super fast. I can only imagine how much smooshier you feel when you’re a mommy and it’s your own children!
I hope all your downsides turn into upsides, India!
[ Follow me on Twitter: LauraMarcella ]
What a blessing to have a handsome and healthy son. Congrats on raising a great young man. It sure isn’t easy in this day and time. It is always nice to get confirmation that you are doing “okay” as a parent!
Go ahead and be a proud mother – those are great comments!
[ Follow me on Twitter: alexjcavanaugh ]
Oh! Sniff sniff, what a lovely post India. Thanks so much for sharing about your son. My slant is Buddhist as well, and to read just a snippet of your conversation with your son was so touching. He is definitely an old soul, and it is so rare to meet someone like that. Thank you for giving us a small glimpse of him.
[ Follow me on Twitter: edenbaylee ]
You guys are so sweet. Thank you for the kind comments!
@Kitty, You’re kind to say he looks like me. If you saw us together in person, though, there would be no doubt that I’m 25 years older.
And that’s his great-aunt and great-uncle (on his dad’s side) in that photo. They came to visit him last autumn. That pic was taken in Edinburgh when they were saying goodbye.
[ Follow me on Twitter: IndiaDrummond ]
what a handsome boy–and a great kid. India, you did everything right. It’s so nice to hear stories like this in an age of kids in turmoil–well done!
[ Follow me on Twitter: PattiLarsen ]
Congratulations! Reading that report must have been such a comfort…
Such a lovely post, India! Love that line “where is it?” [s]
I’m among a fortunate few who’ve met the Bear, and can say a hearty “Amen”. Excuse me, that doesn’t offend Buddhist-You, I trust. <;)
As for an unfortunate stalker–philosophical discussions aside–I'd have great concern for his health, not the Bear's. If he should have something untoward in mind, @ 6'1" and 165 pounds, the stalker also couldn't run away, after realizing his mistake. The Bear runs like the wind-sweeping-down-the-plains-of-Oklahoma and the poor sap would never get away.
[ Follow me on Twitter: girlfrenkate ]