Some people complain about advances in technology as they pine for the good old days of flint and tinder, when we used wear bear-skin and have rotten teeth, I suppose. Me, I’m a fan of antibiotics and central heating. So sue me. I like keyboarding instead of writing with a pen, and on days when my arthritis is acting up, I like my voice activated software, or VOX, if you’re really cool. I even like the recent changes in Facebook. When people bitch about progress or change, I imagine them doing it in the voice of Dolores Umbridge, which is always good for a giggle. “Hem, hem… Progress for progress’ sake must be discouraged.”

And without the progress of moving from manual typewriters to Microsoft Word, I never would have gotten this laugh. It’s even funnier because this is a letter I never sent. It was addressed to my old publisher, when I was trying to find a diplomatic way to bitch about something the editorial staff was doing that irked me to the core. In the end, I decided not to send the letter, but this MS Word correction was so hilarious that I had to take a screenshot.

(I’ve blanked some things out, just to be polite.)

A secondary and more serious point to be made is don’t take Microsoft’s word for grammar. We be serious about that.

Last May I wrote an article with tips for naming characters. It’s not an easy process, and most of my characters go through at least one name change in the course of my writing the first draft.

But when employing my usual name hunt techniques for my new book, I ran across something I just had to share: the Cornwall Record Office “silly names list.” If you haven’t seen it before, you’re in for a treat. I don’t know what some of these parents were thinking, but it would make me feel a whole lot better about naming a character something like Heloise Smudge, because I would always know, in the back of my mind, that there are real-life examples out there that are so much worse.

My favourites from the list (all real names from the 17-1800′s):

SHADRACH MESBACH ABEDNEGO CLARK
EMILY GRACE PYNE COFFIN
FREKE DOROTHY FLUCK LANE
ALFRED FRANK SARAH PRETTYMAN

There’s another list on the same site that has some priceless names on marriage records:

RICHARD DINNER married MARY COOK

HUGH HUNNY married SUSANNA BEAR

RUBEY ODGER married BLANCH WIDGER

CHARLES SWINE married JANE HAM

I guess the parents of the above children figured their kid would just be so pretty, so special, so above-average, that they had to throw some challenges in to make life interesting.

And if your name happens to be Blanch Widger-Odger, remember, it could always be worse, I suppose. You could be named The Love Symbol.

People sometimes ask me for advice. I find that funny, considering that I’m basically a chick hanging out in her jammies doing whatever the fuck she wants 90% of the time. (The other 10% is filled with things like cleaning up after the cat has puked on our beige carpet.)

And it happens more often now that my books have popped onto some bestseller lists from time to time. (Holy crap…really?) I’m always more than happy to share whatever I know with anyone who asks, so don’t be shy about asking. Taking a few minutes to answer is the least I can do, plus it gives me an excuse to procrastinate on that 10% list I do so love to avoid.

The obvious advice for writing success is out there, and I certainly wouldn’t be the first one to say, “write a good book, get it professionally edited, get some awesome cover art, and price it attractively.” Hell, I probably wouldn’t even be the first person today to say that, and it’s only 10AM. But the real advice, the stuff that gets you from one page to the next, that’s more full of nuance. I can’t tell you whether you should kill off a character or cut your first five chapters or move your setting to Peoria. Some things only the author can decide, and that’s what makes this a lonely business from time to time.

But I will share some advice I received from my dear friend Talli Roland, given to me when I was lamenting a few weeks back that I was struggling with some plot points in Azuri Fae. I was angsting pretty hard, and the wordcount was growing slowly. The outline was there, the desire was there, but something was missing. She said (I shit you not), “Sounds like you just need to buckle down and write.” Or something along those lines. It’s all a bit fuzzy. Honestly, it made my ears ring. I suppose that’s what they call ‘the ring of truth.’

Of course it reminded me of this WWII British morale-boosting poster put out by the government to keep people from panicking, I suppose, when bombs were dropping all around. Now I know that for most of us, the bombs are metaphorical these days, but still, I know good advice when I hear it, and “Keep Calm and Carry On” has become my new motto for publishing. (And for cleaning up after the cats too.) It’s a slightly more positive version of Hitchhiker’s Guide “Don’t Panic,” because at least it also contains instructions for what to do next, and it’s not so flip and condescending as Nike’s “Just Do It.” (Which always makes me feel like I should be embarrassed for not having been doing it all along.)

Following dear Talli’s advice, I wrote 2900 words the next morning after that phone call, and the next day I wrote 2200, then another 2200, then another 2800, and on like that for the next two weeks until this past Wednesday, when I wrote 4100 words and finished the first draft of Azuri Fae. And you know what? I really like it. Yes, there are some rough spots that will get smoothed out before it goes to my beta readers, and I’m sure they’ll get out their scalpels along with their red pens and keep me honest.

So, these are my two pieces of advice:

#1 Not all motivational posters are shit. Most are, like the other two in that 1939 collection which included “Freedom Is In Peril. Defend It With All Your Might”, which scares the holy bejeebers out of me, and “Your Courage, Your Cheerfulness, Your Resolution Will Bring Us Victory”, which just makes me want to say “My cheerfulness? Piss off.” Unlike those two, “Keep Calm and Carry On” will get you through most any situation.

#2 Get yourself a Talli. I’ll share mine, but don’t wear her out. I’m sure I’m going to need her again on the next book.

And… a programming note… now that I’m finished with my first draft of Azuri Fae, I might actually have the energy to pop my head into the social networks more often.

Thanks for tolerating my erratic blog posting while I’ve been hammering at the keyboard, and thanks especially to everyone who has helped put Blood Faerie on those bestseller lists. It’s truly humbling, and it wouldn’t be there without you.

Time. We all know it’s precious, and we never seem to have enough of it to do all the things we want to do. On top of that, we all have a worrying number of distractions, trying to keep us from those critical tasks. For me, what I need to be focusing on is my writing. But I have a whole laundry list (no pun intended) of things that are constantly dragging at my attention and keeping me from my goals.

Now, for each of us, those distractions can be slightly different. Some of us get our attention sucked up by any shiny thing that flits by our computer monitors, while others find the internet itself to be a prime distraction. (Don’t believe that one! The internet is a good thing! It’s what brought you here, after all!)

But on the other hand, there are certain things we all must deal with, so here are my tips for avoiding (or at least minimising) those pesky annoyances that keep us from our goals:

That’s right. Microwave meals and using the TV as a distraction for THEM will prevent the little blighters from keeping YOU from whatever it is you’re trying to get done. Technology. Embrace it!

If you’re lucky enough not to have anyone in your life that cares about you (and thus wants to provide a constant obstacle to getting things done), then you probably do have this next problem: Personal hygiene. Seriously. Do you have any concept of how long bathing, shaving, tooth-brushing, dressing, etc takes every day? (You probably do.) That’s time I could spend writing! Fortunately for me, writing (as a job) doesn’t require clothes, so I can cut out on at least one of these (dressing) by hanging out in my jammies at work. But because most people have to leave the house to do their job, here’s a suggestion…

And lastly, the worst of all, in my humble opinion, housework. Ugh. And the worst part about it is, it doesn’t stay done. I swear to god, the very moment I dust something, it gets dusty again! (I blame the cats and their flying fur.) And the kitchen? Dear god. If only we could stop eating, then it would be a breeze to keep things clean. I’m working on that, but I haven’t found a good solution yet.

However, I would point out, tthat the reason most of us do housework to begin with, impressing our guests, is not that difficult a problem to deal with. It’s not that difficult to keep people away, if you set your mind to it. I partly solved this problem by getting rid of “friends” that kept dropping by to visit. Oh, I’m sure they (probably) meant well, coming over with gifts and well-wishes, smiles and chat. But honestly! Don’t they know I have things to do? NO NO NO! Don’t be sucked in by all this crap out there about love and relationships being the only thing worth having in life. And, if you cut out these charming but time-consuming people from your life, you will have cut out two distractions at once. After all, if no one ever comes over, why would you spend hours scrubbing the floor?

So there you have it. My top tips for avoiding distractions at home. But whatever you do, do NOT turn off the internet.

I’m sure I’m not the only one this has happened to… I was going along just fine, then suddenly, some folks I hadn’t seen in 20 years popped up on my Facebook friend invite section. This is always a bit of a mixed blessing. Sure, it’s great to reconnect with those people I liked (mostly), but on the other hand, perhaps I’m not exactly the hottie I was in high school! (Trust me. Everyone is a hottie at 16. Youth makes up for a lot.)

And I’m also certain I’m not the only one who dreads the moment when that old acquaintance sees that avatar photo and thinks smugly, “Holy crap. She’s let herself go!” So here are some tips for how I created an avatar that my old friends would recognise but wouldn’t scare away potential new friends and followers with the sheer, dreaded normal-ness of my appearance.

By the way, this advice is also great for authors who feel the need to use a “real face” as their avatar. (Note the “scare quotes”—reality is relative.)If you’re like me: over 40 and not spending your days in the salon because you’re at home, sitting on your arse (in your jammies)writing books, well, these tricks may work as well for you as they did for me!

Now, I realise not all of you will need this advice. So, for those of you who are still young and/or gorgeous:

Yeah, okay, and for the other 99% of us ordinary people who look more and more like Margaret Thatcher every day, do what I did, and break out the photo editing software. It’s a helluva lot easier than going on a diet and cheaper than botox.

Once I mastered the squeeze tool to make myself roughly the same width I used to be, then it was time to get rid of the eye-bags brought on by staying up too late, worrying about mortgages, or typing just one more page of that manuscript. Tip: You can fix your hair and apply some eye shadow while you’re at it. It takes seconds and you don’t have to wash it off when you’re done!

And poof! Done! A perfectly made-up (in both senses of the word!), skinny version of myself, sans wrinkles, gray hairs, and with just a hint of youthful blush on my cheeks.

Considering that I don’t think even my husband recognises my 3 year old, heavily edited avatar, I’m seriously considering using the kitten in a teacup myself! (Of course, that Love’s Lusty Lumberjack cover comes a close second.)

So what’s your avatar secret? Do you show your natural face, warts and all, or are you using a 1990’s glamor shot? Edited or strictly reality?

I need your help solving a most perplexing mystery. Was it murder? Suicide? And what was the motive?

Before I go on, I want to swear and affirm that everything in this post is 100% true. Yes, I make shit up for a living and am therefore a known and proven liar. But I can tell you this much, the stuff I put in my books is a lot more believable than what happened earlier this week. It would have to be.

Before I describe the horrific scene I stumbled upon Friday morning, I have to give you some background. I won’t bore you with details of why, for example, we have a bronze statue of Robert the Bruce, why I haven’t dusted or tidied the Nine-Box (what we call our 3×3 living room storage thingmy) in 357 years, or why I have so much yarn, a proven temptation for one of my suspects, and so close to the scene of the crime. Those facts have been considered and deemed irrelevant.

So, on to the players in this little drama:

[Note: The photo above isn’t the actual Dragon-Mouse. This is a picture by Brian Kellett showing what a non-dead mouse looks like.]

The story starts with Suspect #1: Agent Orange. (This isn’t her real name. She’s requested that I not reveal her true identity until she is, as she insists she will be, exonerated of the crime. This seems fair. We all know how crazy the media can be when they learn a suspect’s name.) Because last Thursday was slightly warm, as summer days in Scotland can be, I opened a window. In jumps Agent Orange with Suspect #2, Dragon-Mouse, in her mouth. (Eww.)

A Certain Highlander and I spent a substantial amount of time Thursday looking for Dragon-Mouse after Agent Orange dropped him. (I guess my screaming distracted her long enough for him to get away.) I should say at this point that when Dragon-Mouse ran behind a bookcase, he did not appear to be injured or bleeding, but only slightly damp from the drool of Agent Orange. I suspect she planned to bat him around for a while yet.

On to the actual crime.

I awoke Friday morning and went to the living room, where I do my writing. We’d kept the living room door closed overnight, since we’d had no luck locating Dragon-Mouse. It seemed better to at least know what room he was in and not have him scamper into an open, snoring mouth in the night. This is what I found:

In a room that had been completely closed off ever since Dragon-mouse came into the house, I found the following: A dead Dragon-Mouse (played by actress Lambie-Pie in the picture above. Not showing a dead mouse on my blog. Plus, we were in a hurry to get it out of the house once it was discovered, so I didn’t have time to take proper crime scene photos), the sword of King Robert I of Scotland lying beside the body as shown in the closeup below:

Some facts that seem relevant:

I can find no way Agent Orange could have gotten to Dragon-Mouse during the night. No loose floorboards or open windows, in other words.

The statue of Robert the Bruce is bronze. Not plastic. Not wood. METAL. The sword was part of the construction, and a close examination of the suspect showed that the sword had snapped off. It had been attached at both the bottom (by his feet) and at the top (in his hand.) The statue did not appear to have been disturbed in any other way. (As evidenced by the dust around his base still maintaining a perfect oval-shape.)

Relative sizes of the suspects: Robert the Bruce is roughly 16 inches tall. (The statue. I’m sure he was much taller in real life.) He’s heavy. I didn’t weigh him, but let’s just say that I have to pick him up with both hands. Agent Orange is sturdy for a cat, but if I had to guess, I’d guess she weighs at least 10 lbs (4 ½ kilos). Dragon-Mouse weighed (I have to guess here, since I never held him) about an ounce. (30 grams).

So…what happened in the night?

These are the only theories I’ve been able to come up with, but honestly, none of them make a whole lot of sense.

Theory #1: Agent Orange (not having the thumbs required to open the door herself) had an accomplice that allowed her to get in and dispatch the mouse. Evidence? None, but she did have a strong motive. (Nom, nom.) Problems with the theory: the mouse had not been eaten, interviews of nearby residents make this seem unlikely, as they all denied having helped her, it would also have required that said accomplice waited for her to do her job, then let her out of the living room again, as she was found sleeping in the guest room later that morning.

Theory #2: Agent Orange may be responsible, with Dragon-Mouse having died from  injuries sustained during the initial skirmish. Evidence: She was seen with Dragon-Mouse in her mouth and who the heck knows what she did to him before she brought him in. However, the problem with that theory is that he had been seen the previous day with no blood on him and seeming to be in perfect health (if terrified).

Theory #3: King Robert came to life in the night and slew the Dragon-Mouse, thus defending the realm against all threats, both foreign and domestic. Evidence? His sword was found at the scene. Problems with this theory: outside of Toy Story, this sort of thing doesn’t happen a lot. Also, no blood found on the blade. On the other hand, if he could come to life and kill a monster, he might also have the wherewithal to clean his weapon.

Theory #4: Dragon-Mouse killed himself by stealing King Robert’s sword and running himself through. Evidence: Sword found at the scene, and Dragon-Mouse was positioned as to be crawling away from it. Problem with the theory: same as with theory #3, plus, beyond being scared out of his little furry mind, he didn’t seem to be suicidal in the short time I knew him.

Theory #5: Dragon-Mouse killed himself accidentally. In an effort to get away, he clambered up the Nine Box and up King Robert. During his ascent, the sword snapped and sent him and sword tumbling to the ground, ending in a serious head injury that killed him moments later. Evidence: Position of the body and sword show this as plausible, plus there was no blood on the blade of the sword. Problem with this theory: Dragon-Mouse weighed an ounce, if that (30 grams). How could such a small creature break a bronze sword out of the hand of the King of Scotland?

I have no answers, but this has to be one of the most mysterious things I’ve encountered in some time. It’s been quite a hot topic of conversation in our house, since although we all love a good fiction, we also acknowledge and understand the general laws of physics.

Which theory do you think is the correct one? Do you have another theory that is plausible and/or amusing? Do you have information that would help solve this crime? Who do you think did it?

Comment, tweet and share! It may take the help of the community to help CSI:Highlands solve this crime! Every tip will be seriously considered. (And really, I promise everything happened exactly as described, even though the supernatural serial killing in my latest book is more believable than this!)

Holy crap! It’s been a week since I blogged? Well, I have a good excuse. (You guys know I hate excuses, but this is good!) I’ve been nailing down the detailed plot for Azuri Fae, the sequel to Blood Faerie. I hadn’t originally intended this book to be next in the queue, but honestly, the overwhelmingly positive response and kick-ass sales figures for Blood Faerie assuaged my fears of locking myself into a series. (Thanks again, by the way, to those who bought the book. Seriously. Wow. The first book in this series was for me. I was telling the story simply because I wanted to. Book two is for you.)

I am always interested to hear about other author’s techniques for developing plots. I used to never do this, chalking storytelling up to some kind of mystical “it just happens” experience. But the more titles I have under my belt, the more projects I start (I’ve written a lot more than I’ve published, started more than I’ve finished), the more I find that method in the madness is a good thing. Maybe I should have called this post “How To Keep From Painting Yourself Into A Corner” or “What the Fuck Happens Next?”

I’m not a descriptive writer. I have to force myself to describe what someone looks like, and I have various ways of tricking myself into doing this. When I have to describe a place, like, say, Munro’s house in Blood Faerie (he’s my human cop), then I actually pick a neighbourhood, pick a street, and find houses for sale on that street. I download pictures, floorplans (property websites are great), google earth shots, maybe even drive down the street to get a feel for the place (huge advantage that the story takes place in the city where I live.) I use them as reference photos, much like an artist would.

Sorry for the digression, but my point in talking about descriptions is to say that it doesn’t come naturally to me. I do it because somewhere along the line I realised you guys can’t actually see into my head. (You dodged a bullet there.)What I find interesting is motivation. Why a character does what they do is so much more important to me than where, how, or what they’re wearing at the time. I wrote about motivation in some detail over at Amy Rose Davis’ blog shortly after the Ordinary Angels release.

But now I’m going to share my actual worksheet for doing an outline. I begin with the overall two-line “quest” of the book. For Ordinary Angels I wanted, by the end of the book, to positively resolve the romance plot between Alexander and Zoe, and rescue a secondary ghost-character from being sent to hell. For Blood Faerie, the overall goal was to stop the supernatural serial killer. It doesn’t have to be fancy, sound like a tagline, or anything like that. This part is just for you, the author.

Then, before I get into any deeper plot levels, I delve into the characters, asking the following questions helps me understand their motives:

1. What does she want at the beginning of the book? (This can be either part of the main “quest” or even the motivations that keep her living her life in a consistent way. E.g. does she value love, stability, excitement, money, fame, friends, solitude, etc.)
2. What does she want from the other characters?
3. What does she want that is in conflict with what others want? (For example, if she wants fame but her husband wants solitude, these desires would be in conflict. If she wants to marry a particular man, but her best friend does too, this creates an obstacle.)
4. What does she want later in the book? (As a character develops and circumstances change, the character’s goals should change with them. Repeat this question as many times as necessary to show the growth-line of the character.)
5. What qualities about herself would she most like to change? (Whether they change or not in the course of the book – In other words, what does she not like about herself?)
6. What does she value in others? (Is what she values in others at odds with what she values about herself?)
7. What is she afraid of? (Everyone is afraid of something.)

After having a long talk with friend and bestselling author Talli Roland this week, I think I’m going to add another question to that list:

8. What does she like about herself? (It’s important, in my opinion, because it helps keep the character balanced.)

And by the way, I’ve created a Word Template document with all of these questions, as well as the later, more detailed scene happenings. I repeat this list of questions for the most important characters. For Blood Faerie, I did it for Eilidh and Munro, of course, but also for Cridhe, the antagonist. I needed to be able to see the world from his point of view if I was going to make him believable. Because no matter how demented a character  is, they think they are the hero of the story. (Much like most real people, now that I think about it.)

This beginning part of the outlining process makes the last 2/3 a bazillion times easier. Once I know why someone acts the way they do, what drives them, what they want and what they fear, it’s easy to plop them into any circumstance and predict how they’ll behave.

So what do you do? How do you decide what happens next? Do you outline and plot? Share your tips in the comments! I’d love to hear them.

I’m a nice person. Usually. Mostly. At least that’s what people tell me. But the truth is, sometimes I wish I could be just a little obnoxious and enjoy it. I knew a guy once who used to go around to AOL chat rooms (I’m showing my age) and troll–just to mess with people and get a rise out of them. He thought it was hilarious. I could never do that! Whenever I think I’ve hurt or upset someone, it really bothers me, sometimes for years! I suppose it’s my belief in karma that keeps me on the straight and narrow. Not the ATM-style karma of getting back what you put in, but the idea that the universe brings you what you need. So if the universe thinks you’re an ass, it might very well deliver an ass-whoopin.

Oh, sometimes something will get my dander up a bit, but that’s really more righteous indignation than genuine obnoxia™. But generally, I keep my mouth shut and don’t goad, even when, in my estimation, people really have it coming. (Of course, I’m sailing close to the wind in the karmic field by even judging if other people deserve a poke with the goad-stick anyway, but I’m living on the edge today.)

However, that doesn’t stop me from enjoying a bit of spectator snark. So in that spirit, I give you The Best Obnoxious Responses To Misspellings On Facebook.

Here’s a sample that just cracked me up:

I should add in here that I’m not a very good speller myself. Without spell-check and the help of beta readers and editors, I’d probably look like a big doofus at least half the time. I noted on FB recently that I always spell occasionally wrong (in fact, spell-checking in WP informs me I just did it AGAIN in this sentence), which leans toward irony. So with a few exceptions, I don’t correct people’s spelling. I figure that would be just setting me up for a bit karmic spelling humiliation, like the girl who asked her sister via text message to make sure her dad didn’t lick her out that night. When the sister replied HUH? the girl texted back LOCK LOCK LOCK! (That story was from damnyouautocorrect.com, I do believe.) Some types of embarrassment just aren’t worth risking, in terms of tempting fate.

Question: Have you ever made a really embarassing typo? (And dear god, I hope it wasn’t on a tattoo, although that would technically be an inko, I suppose.)

Oh! And a quick note before I go… a HUGE thank you to all of you lovely readers who have helped keep Blood Faerie in the top 100 for contemporary fantasy (AMZ UK) since its launch a week ago! I’m stunned. I mean *I* like my books, but it always gives me a bubbly joy-moment to hear that someone else does too. Reviews have started coming in, and it’s really wonderful news. So THANK YOU to my readers, reviewers, and cheerleaders. You’ve made this the best week for me!

This must be the week for giving away books! (Yum! Free books!) I have my Blood Faerie giveaway I talked about the other day, author Mike Murphy is helping promote that contest and ALSO giving away a signed print copy of his book, Lucifera’s Pet to someone who enters my contest and comments on his blog post about it, and my guest today, Rie McGaha, is giving away a copy of her new romance novel Calen. You can enter to win simply by commenting on this post! (Details below!)

First, a funny list Rie wanted to share with us today:

Top Ten Reasons To Be A Romance Author by Rie McGaha

10. You are your own boss.

9.  Set your own hours.

8.  Your computer is a tax write off.

7.  You don’t have to call in sick to get out of work.

6.  The research for those love scenes.

5.  The coffee is always on.

4.  You can play Frontierville on Face Book any time you want.

3.  You get to work from home in your jammies.

2.  Your muse doesn’t mind if yell at them.

And the number 1 reason you will want to be a romance author is…..

1. You are always in bed with the perfect man!
And here’s a bit about Rie’s new book!

Calen by Rie McGaha

When Calen MacLeod begins having dreams of an ethereal beauty who beckons to him, he passes it off as just having an itch he hasn’t scratched in a long time. But when he leaves on a journey to find her, following the directions she’s given him in his dreams, he begins to doubt his sanity. And when he finds himself high in the Mackinaw Mountains in a secret fortress with unicorns and a pink and white castle, surrounded by women, each one more beautiful than the next, it’s a fantasy no man would want to wake up from. But Arianna is the only woman for Calen.

The women of the Fortress have lived in peace, hidden away from the humans who tried to annihilate them all. But now a 500-year-old demon is out to destroy the women’s matriarch, Ariella, and he’ll stop at nothing to complete his mission. When Calen MacLeod shows up, he throws a wrench into Damon’s plans. Never let it be said Damon isn’t ready for anything, but when he kidnaps Arianna and takes her to modern day San Francisco, is he ready to meet Calen, who will stop at nothing to save his ladylove?

Rie McGaha is an author, editor, and reviewer. She has more than a dozen books to her credit, and her recent release, Calen, is the first book in the My Soul To Keep Trilogy, with the other two books being released later this year from Silver Publishing. You can join Rie, GA Hauser, & Stormy Glenn for Blog Blast 2011 (http://blogblast2011.blogspot.com/), on Blog Talk Radio, May 14, 2011 at noon CST, with an all day group chat at Erotic Promo. http://groups.yahoo.com/group/eroticpromo/

Prizes will be given away all day long, so join us! And check out Blog Blast 2011 for a list of prizes, and “follow” us to be entered into the grand prize drawing. Everyone who comments on this blog is also eligible to win!

GA Hauser – http://authorgahauser.com/

Stormy Glenn – http://stormyglenn.com/

Rie McGaha – http://www.riemcgaha.com/

Had a great weekend! I was bound and determined to spend it away from social networking and away from the computer as much as possible. It’s a tough thing to do sometimes when physical limitations make trips to the outside world a friggin ordeal, and the computer is the easiest source of entertainment. I don’t know about you guys, but I’d much rather watch a Tobuscus Cute-Win-Fail series on YouTube most days than channel surf through the endless crapola that TV executives have determined we want to see. Sure, I love some of the popular dramas: Criminal Minds, House, NCIS, and my guilty pleasure, Grey’s Anatomy. But some of the new “reality” (on what planet?) shows make me want to punch kittens.

My social-less weekend went well! Well enough that it serves as a reminder that I’m more healthy in da brain when I take weekends away from work. Yeah, who would have thought humans weren’t meant to work 7 days a week. (Obviously someone who wasn’t self-employed.)

So I’m feeling recharged and ready to tackle the todo list that’s staring at me from an open file. (Yes, I see you, Word Document. Peering from the task bar. Cheeky bugger.)

One of the things on the agenda is to get ready for a massive giveaway I’m planning for the release of Blood Faerie. I’ll be giving away a Kindle copy to five of my email list subscribers. More details to come later this week (or early next) for how to enter and how to share the contest with your own blog friends.

So, lots to do this week, but I’m feeling recharged and ready to go!

While I’m off doing some werk, here’s a funny for you to enjoy. It cracked me the hell up.