India Drummond

There’s Nowt as Queer as Folk

I love that expression: “There’s nowt as queer as folk”, which means simply “there’s nothing as strange as people”. I saw a man on the street the other day that I could only describe to my sweetheart later as “an albino cowboy”.  (The albino label is self-explanatory, the cowboy part because he was severely bow-legged.) It wasn’t his appearance that...

India Drummond

Changed Priorities

So true of my life in the past year.  If only all street signs were this helpful! Other signs I’d find helpful would read things like: “Warning: Faulty Logic” or “Caution: Regrets for 50 miles”. Sign photo shamelessly stolen from @BrokenPieces. (For the Americans in the audience, “priority” is Brit for “right of way”. Yes, it’s a whole different...

India Drummond

The Fairy Experience

They say “write what you know”, which is one of the reasons that this advert for a Fairy School caught my eye. I tweeted about a couple of days ago, but I thought I’d share this with those who haven’t been listening to my inane chatter. I’m definitely thinking of signing up.  Marsha asked me if I thought they’d provide wings, or if we’d have to bring our own, but...

India Drummond

Nothing Says “Good Times” Like Mockage

I’m not sure what it says about me that my favourite websites are all about mocking other people.  Well, scratch that.  I’m entirely certain what it says about me, but I’m not going to say it out loud. My new favourite site, Cake Wrecks was brought to my attention by a Facebook friend, and the first time I went there, I spent no less than two hours with tears streaming down my face from...

India Drummond

Virtually Stupid

CNN reported yesterday that a woman was held for the “virtual murder” of her “virtual” ex-spouse.  Yes, the guy dumped her online, so she logged in to his account in “Maple Story” a virtual reality world, and killed his avatar. Apparently the actual charge is something like hacking.  CNN reporters are such a bunch of drama queens.  Murder! But I think the absolute...

India Drummond

Men Aren’t That Stupid

I have to tell you, I usually get at least a small chuckle out of the products aimed at women.  They all seem to assume we’re either mindless drones who don’t think about anything but having less bacteria in our lives than our neighbours (see the keyboard post below to see how that is working out for me), or that we’re so obsessed with our own bodily functions that we dream and converse...

India Drummond

Up Close and Personal

Yesterday I did something unusual: I looked at my keyboard.  Those of you who type as badly as you spell won’t understand that.  But then perhaps the 2 kewl people don’t read this blog.  (After my last hiatus, I’m not sure anyone does, but that’s another story.) So I looked down, and was completely ooked out.  I’m not a tidy woman, but I am clean, and I realised my hands...

India Drummond

Trick or Treat

You know a lot of people say things like “The English Language is an Amazing Thing”… which, true, it is. I had a friend in college who was a Japanese playwright, meaning she was Japanese and wrote plays, not that she wrote Japanese plays… because, said she, she just couldn’t write good stuff in Japanese. Too structured. Too many rules. In English, you can just make shit...

India Drummond

My Author is a Drunk

Last night hubby and I watched Stranger Than Fiction .  If you aren’t familiar with the plot, it’s about a guy who begins to hear a voice… narrating his life.  Turns out he’s a character in a novel, and with a few exceptions, she doesn’t tell him what is going to happen, but rather what has just happened or what he’s thinking, the way a good narrator would.  Then...

India Drummond

The Patient Patient

Well thanks everyone for being so patient as I’ve coped with the increasing weirdness in my life. I’ve been on a safari of sorts, gathering information of use to my bitter friends, as it is my life’s quest to bring all shades of usefulness and enlightenment everywhere I go. As I didn’t take video of the event (not allowed, oddly), I’ll have to walk you through it. Imagine, if...