I’m sure I’m not the only one this has happened to… I was going along just fine, then suddenly, some folks I hadn’t seen in 20 years popped up on my Facebook friend invite section. This is always a bit of a mixed blessing. Sure, it’s great to reconnect with those people I liked (mostly), but on the other hand, perhaps I’m not exactly the hottie I was in high school! (Trust me. Everyone is a hottie at 16. Youth makes up for a lot.)

And I’m also certain I’m not the only one who dreads the moment when that old acquaintance sees that avatar photo and thinks smugly, “Holy crap. She’s let herself go!” So here are some tips for how I created an avatar that my old friends would recognise but wouldn’t scare away potential new friends and followers with the sheer, dreaded normal-ness of my appearance.

By the way, this advice is also great for authors who feel the need to use a “real face” as their avatar. (Note the “scare quotes”—reality is relative.)If you’re like me: over 40 and not spending your days in the salon because you’re at home, sitting on your arse (in your jammies)writing books, well, these tricks may work as well for you as they did for me!

Now, I realise not all of you will need this advice. So, for those of you who are still young and/or gorgeous:

Yeah, okay, and for the other 99% of us ordinary people who look more and more like Margaret Thatcher every day, do what I did, and break out the photo editing software. It’s a helluva lot easier than going on a diet and cheaper than botox.

Once I mastered the squeeze tool to make myself roughly the same width I used to be, then it was time to get rid of the eye-bags brought on by staying up too late, worrying about mortgages, or typing just one more page of that manuscript. Tip: You can fix your hair and apply some eye shadow while you’re at it. It takes seconds and you don’t have to wash it off when you’re done!

And poof! Done! A perfectly made-up (in both senses of the word!), skinny version of myself, sans wrinkles, gray hairs, and with just a hint of youthful blush on my cheeks.

Considering that I don’t think even my husband recognises my 3 year old, heavily edited avatar, I’m seriously considering using the kitten in a teacup myself! (Of course, that Love’s Lusty Lumberjack cover comes a close second.)

So what’s your avatar secret? Do you show your natural face, warts and all, or are you using a 1990’s glamor shot? Edited or strictly reality?

Since the days when I first ran the Writing Adventure Group, which used techniques designed to get the writer out, observing, and moving around in the real world, I’ve always cheered recognising the big picture. It’s so easy to get caught up in the publishing cycle, writing, querying, promoting and the many,  many ups and downs in the every day of an author’s life. But there’s a huge world out there and things going on. Important things. Trivial things. Tragic things. Beautiful things.

I ran across this World Clock some weeks ago, and I tell you, it not only tells you what’s going on outside, but how often. Want to watch people die (figuratively, of course), then set the clock to ‘now’ and see how many people are dying (and of what) since you clicked the button. You can see births, deaths, cars produced, the number of internet users… it goes on and on. It never stops. It’s fascinating. (And a little morbid.)

Oh, and then I got the bright idea of clicking on the life expentancy calculator. If I wasn’t a non-smoker, a non-drinker, and happily married, apparantly I would have died last week.

8400 more days? I’d better get cracking on doing something useful. Oh wait… maybe after I watch some YouTube while eating a cheese sandwich.

Yep, it’s Thursday again, and today I have a special guest, Theresa Milstein. I met Theresa through social networking, which is probably one of the reasons I so loved her topic for today, the online writer’s community.

The community of writer-bloggers is the most diverse one I know.  And that’s saying a lot living in Cambridge, Massachusetts in the US.  We’re ethnically, religiously, and economically diverse.  Our schools even have a LGBTA (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender Association) for parents and students.  But the blogging community is even more diverse.

Don’t believe me?

Here’s my evidence.

All we know about one another is what we choose to provide.  Some of us post pictures of ourselves, while others only show cartoon representations or even symbols.  Most use real names, while others use pen names or something related to the names of our blogs.

Often we have a country of origin to go by, but sometimes not even that.

We don’t always know:

• Religion
• Marital status
• Children or childless
• Age
• And so on.

So, what do we know about one another?

Our words.

What we say in our blog posts and comments.  We bare our souls in our posts and comments, in whatever social media tool we use.  Some of our relationships have deepened into friendships, with e-mails, calls, and even live visits.

I’d argue we share more of ourselves to one another than we often do to most of our friends and family members.  For only writers really know what it’s like to be a writer.

A rejection arrives.  A harsh critique is endured.

Who else knows exactly what to say because… let’s face it… been there, done that.

We follow and “friend” one another.  We’re critique partners and beta readers.  When something bad happens in one of our lives, the rest of us reach out.  And when something wonderful happens, we can rejoice.  (Swallow that envy.  Our turn will come.)

Even better, we promote one another. We believe in each other.

All of this social media can be called a time waster, a poor substitute for “real” relationships, and so on.  But when you disappear from the blogosphere, I’ll notice.  Then I’ll contact you to make sure you’re okay.  And when I’ve been beside myself, the outpouring of support has lifted me out of some pretty dark places.

I still have my friends and my family.

But I also have my writer friends.  (Even if a few of my writer friends live nearby, most of our interaction is on-line.)

I share much of myself on my blog posts.  But it’s also the best of me.  If I’m in a bad mood, I don’t take it out on you.  It’s easier to be a better blogging friend.

If you’re from the US, I don’t need to know if you’re from a red or blue state. If you’re in another country, it’s not important if you’re a US ally or not.  I don’t care if it’s autumn where you are while spring where I live.  If there’s a time zone difference, that doesn’t bother me.  Your religious affiliation (or lack thereof) or sexual orientation is not my concern.  There’s no age requirement.

You are a writer who has reached out and maybe touched me in some way.  That’s all that matters.

Imagine if we could make the world like we’ve made our writing community.  How much less judging would we do?  How much more focus would we bring to the things that really count?  If we can accomplish it here, why can’t we move these relationships beyond the blog?

What did writers do before social networking?  Seriously.  We have a utopia here.  Let’s treasure it.

Question for you: What aspect of the blogging community is the most meaningful to you?

Today’s is a bit of a roundup post… just a few things I wanted to share with bloggy friends…

This week, L.J. Sellers wrote an article titled “Write What You Feel” over at her blog. She talks about something I’ve considered several times while writing… how the ups and downs of our own everyday lives affect our writing. She uses examples of how readers have responded to knowing about a writer’s life, and it made me think. Go read it!

Also I ran across something on Twitter called #1k1hr. That link gives a bit more detail, but basically it’s a self-challenge where you sit down and decide to write a thousand words in an hour. No big deal… I do that all the time. But the fun aspect of this is where Twitter comes in. It’s a twitter hashtag you can follow and see other people doing it, sometimes in groups. Like the #amwriting hashtag, I find it very inspirational to know there are all these people out there…writing…all the time… 24 hours a day without fail. It has this way of making me want to drop whatever I’m doing and go create something.

And lastly, I’m being interviewed today by the esteemed J.M. Strother of Mad Utopia, creator of #fridayflash and editor of the Best of Friday Flash collection. So come visit me over at the madhouse!

Happy Wednesday!

Today, over on L.M. Stull’s blog, Andrew Mocete is blogging about Twitter, specifically how to use it to market self-published books, but it’s actually good advice for anyone.

I’ve been loving Twitter for a while now. The first time I tried it, it didn’t take. I didn’t have any followers, I didn’t know how to find people I wanted to follow, and it seemed full of lingo that didn’t make sense to me. What the fuck was a hashtag? I made a second go when I saw a few friends from facebook say they just loved it, and this time I put some energy into filling up my list with other writers. When I didn’t get what something meant, I asked. That’s when I started to see how deep Twitter went and now I enjoy it every day.

But too many authors (and others) treat Twitter like a tool to be used. Okay it is. Sort of. But like with my second look at Twitter, it goes a lot deeper than that. Twitter is made up of people, not targets, not an ‘audience’, and not ‘customers’. It’s a cocktail party, not a networking conference. Sure you can pass out a few business cards when you meet someone, but if you stand there, bellowing about what you have for sale, you’re going to end up by yourself, or worse, surrounded only by people who also want you to buy something.

In Andrew’s post, he suggests using the hashtag #amwriting to find people to follow. That’s a great way to start. Besides my advice for treating folks on Twitter like, yanno, people, I’d also suggest:

1. Make your bio something interesting, but specify that you’re a writer. Avoid words like ‘guru’, ‘expert’, or ‘marketing’. I never follow people with these words. They’re usually Twitter “users” and just want to sell you confidence for the low, low price of $199. The bio is important, because it’s 1 of 2 factors I use when trying to decide if I’ll follow someone back who follows me. The second:

2. Retweet, @mention, @reply. If you are new to twitter and don’t know what those things mean yet, find out. It won’t take long. About 3 minutes. But if I go to a timeline and see that their posts are all adverts of their own blog, their writing, their books, or various links, but they don’t interact with others, I pass them by. Why would I follow someone who isn’t going to talk to me? Remember: cocktail party. Twitter is give and take. It’s full of PEOPLE.

3. There’s lots of advice out there about Twitter, so I won’t go on and on. You’ve probably heard the rest of what I could add already. I will just say this: be friendly, be honest, but most of all, be yourself. (Unless you’re one of those people I have yet to understand that tweets as a character in their book, or more strangely, as their dog. I love you all, but I don’t get that one.)

One interesting fact I’ve noticed… these days I visit more blogs that are recommended from my Twitter feed than my blog reader. And, most of my blog traffic comes from Twitter. More than facebook and much more than my regular subscribers.

So, question for you: What unexpected things or people have you found on Twitter? For those who haven’t started tweeting yet, why the heck not?

A bit of a mash-up post today!

First, a bit about blogs and commenting…

Yesterday, Techcrunch rolled out a new way to comment on blogs via Facebook. I have to admit, I loved the look of it. I think it would be pretty awesome to be able to comment on a blog via my Facebook ID, and have it automatically (if I wanted) post that article and my comment to my FB wall.

There was a time it would have bothered me to not be commenting with a link to my own website, but you could probably always add that at the bottom if you really wanted. Besides, I’ve discovered that although I get a comment-back from the poster, I don’t really get much in the way of traffic from comments I’ve left on other blogs. And, truth be told, I’m a lot less concerned with the number of comments I get anymore. I used to be  a real comment-counter. I wanted to do anything I could to get as many as I could. But then I realised I was spending two hours a day chasing blog comments. That was two hours I could have spent writing books.

So, question for you: Would you leave a comment on a blog that used your Facebook ID rather than having you log in?

Second: If you want to find out about my miserable road to being published, check out my interview on Scribbles and Steam this week. And in an interview with Glynis Smy, I reveal the craziest thing I’ve ever done.

And Lastly: As I mentioned on my Author Page on Facebook, I’ve started sending out Advance Review Copies of Ordinary Angels to reviewers. I’ll keep doing that this entire month as a part of the big release. (Oh how I wish that was as dirty as it sounded.) Well, I got my first response. Goddess of Blah Book Reviews posted a ‘spotlight’ about the book, but she’s saving the actual review for when the amazon/goodreads links are available. But… she posted this on my Facebook profile today:

This will be rated 5 out of 5 from us on amazon! I’ve not really read this stuff much – but wowza my boyfriend is gonna love the stuff I’ve learnt Thank you! I loved Zoe and Alex – a wonderful read!

– Goddess of Blah Book Reviews

I can’t tell you how excited I am!

Happy Wednesday everyone!

I’ve added two (well, actually three) new pages to the site this week. So, see, I haven’t forgotten my dear bloggy friends! I’ve just gotten a bit caught up in all the bazilliondy things that I have on my to-do list. With the launch of Ordinary Angels coming out in just two short months, I have more to do than I have time for, but it’s gotta be done anyway! (The good news is, the book is FINALISED with the publisher! Yay!) Unlike some authors, I really don’t mind the promotional stuff. Not that I like talking about myself (that’s the worst part), but I do love meeting new people and making connections on the net.

Oh! But before I forget, I did write a guest blog post for my friend Ziggy Kinsella over at The Feckless Goblin. He put out a call for authors to write about publishing topics, so I whipped something up that I called “The Super Secret Cure for Writer’s Block“. It’s mostly snark, but hey, you guys love the snark.

Right, back to the new pages on the site this week. One is a place for me to thank people who are helping me promote Ordinary Angels. I called the page “Friends of Ordinary Angels” and it’s a list of reviewers, bloggers, and networkers (social networkers? spacebookers? tweeps? socialites?) and a few special folks that I owe a huge THANK YOU to.

I have been just overwhelmed by how many people have offered to do blog posts, interview me, tweet, share stuff on the social networks, and generally just get the word out. But I also get people writing asking what they can do. So I created this page: Become a Friend of Ordinary Angels. It’s things, ranging from big to small, that would be a huge help. And if you want to tweet, share, or blog about the book release, you will earn my undying gratitude. As I say on that page, it’s “gratitude that NEVER dies. It’s like… zombie gratitude, but without the rotting limbs, vampire gratitude without the blood and gore (but all of the sparkles), and angel gratitude with a totally awesome backup choir.”

Oh, and the third new page? This is a bit embarrassing. It’s a press kit. Shhh. Yes, I feel like a dork having a press kit. It’s nothing that interesting for my regular readers, but people have asked me for some of the same information over and over, and it’s just easier to have it all in one place. I’m only mentioning it to preempt some of the mockage I know a few of my friends will give me as soon as they notice it. And they always do, at least anytime there’s anything remotely embarrassing to notice. I’m not linking to it here though. No point in making their jobs easier. If you wanna mock me, I’m gonna make you do your own homework.

If you want to help even more than you already do (just by sharing your time and comments with me–which is awesome, by the way), you can help me get the word out about getting the word out. Heh. You could put out a tweet saying something like: “Earn @indiadrummond ‘s undying zombie gratitude by checking out this page: http://bit.ly/i5L4ai #OrdinaryAngels” or whatever you want to say. You can also share that link to your FB friends. Hey, just consider it revenge for all the virtual farm requests THEY send YOU. ♥

If you want to get involved, I’ve given lots of ‘contact me’ links in the post, but if you’ll say so in reply to this post, I’ll go ahead and put you down. I know you guys aren’t as lazy as I am, but I might as well make it easy for you. Besides, it might distract you from mocking me about the press kit nonsense.

I hope you all have had as productive a start to 2011 as I have! (But maybe more restful. With more pie. Everyone could use more pie.)

Like most people with blogs, I do love an occassional redesign. Some chicks buy shoes, I play with websites. I’d been wanting to redo the site though to something lighter and cleaner. And here it is! (If you’re reading this on a feed reader, and feedburner tells me that a hundred of you do every day–wow–then you’re going to have to click through to see the new look!) I feel like I have a new haircut and am walking around with a little extra (virtual) flounce in my step.

I was waiting for my cover art for Ordinary Angels, because I wanted to incorporate it somehow. I had thought about making it a part of the design, but went with the slider bar you see in the centre instead. I’m digging the new layout. It combines the feel of a website with all the info of a blog. I wish I could say I designed it, but no, all the schmanciness you see is way beyond my javascript-curdling brain.

The previous theme lasted longer than most, mostly due to the uber-awesomeness of the folks at Elegant Themes (who also designed this one–an anual subscription with them gives you access to all their themes, making them the best and best value “premium” theme designers out there, in my opinion.)

How often do you change your blog theme? Do you like doing it?

Truth be told, I’m surprised anyone remembers that my blog is even here. I’ve been neglecting you all terribly. Now normally, I’m not one to post excuses. I figure it‘s always better just to get right back on track, rather than spending a lot of time explaining why I’m not on track to begin with. I have very little patience with excuses myself, so I hardly expect you to either.

However, November has been an interesting month for me, and there’s a lot of catching up to do. I’ve written most of a book (Yay NaNoWriMo), been (finally) diagnosed with an autoimmune disease, and because pain in my hands is making fine motor movements very difficult, I’m doing all of my writing and blogging with VOX (voice recognition) software. I don’t tend to talk about my  disability on this blog (except to make wise ass remarks about falling out of my shower chair — good times). My health situation is not really interesting to me, so I hardly expected to be interesting to anyone else. Don’t worry. This is not going to turn into a disease blog. I’m not going to be one of those heroic disabled people who inspires other people with her triumphs in adversity. You should know me better than that by now.

That being said, this Dragon NaturallySpeaking software is changing the way I do everything on the computer, including write my books, and that is interesting. Now that I have my Dragon VOX trained (or has it trained me?), at least a little bit, I’m writing faster, and perhaps with a bit more stream of consciousness that when I type. I have no idea what this is going to do to my novels, because I started using the software at about 35,000 words. I’m also going to have problems with homophones, and worse yet, words that sound similar but my accent totally fucks up. (Like: Riding, writing, reading, raiding, writhing — I’m having a lot of WTF moments when I read back what I’ve speak-written the day before.)

So as you continue to read this blog, and I certainly hope you do, if I say something that doesn’t make any sense at all, just chalk it up to either #1 being totally out of my gourd on pain meds (three cheers for chemistry) or — and this is more likely — it’s a speak-o (like a typo with the voice). I’d like to be able to blame everything on drugs, but the truth is this international living has screwed up my accent completely, and even the computer can’t seem to get what I mean some of the time.

I will say this… It gives me a whole new level of scepticism when I watch Star Trek and the captain says into the air, “Computer. Earl Grey, hot,” and the thing manages to give a perfect cup of tea. Now that I’ve tried teaching a computer to do things by voice, I know he’d be more likely to get a grey owl heart from the replicator with that command.

All of this, and I haven’t even gotten to the story about how we’ve been snowed in for the past week.

So, how was your November?